A is for Crazy, L is for Lunatic

I had an earful this morning on the L and A trains. 

On the L, a middle aged woman with a heavy Jamaican accent decided to preach as soon as the train started moving. This went on for a good twenty minutes. She got louder and louder as more people got on. So today I learned I better act right and stop all this fornicating because Jesus is coming back. If not, I will burn in hell. Well good morning to you too ma’am. 

Next on to the A train which I lovingly refer to as the Crazy Train. Sorry, no A adjectives for crazy. I tried. Anyway, the Crazy Train did not disappoint! 

In the back of the train I hear a voice of what I thought was a child saying all the ugly ladies on the train move! All the ugly ladies on the train get out the way! Move for the ugly ladies on the train!!!

The voice is getting louder and moving closer to me. I see it’s not a child but a grown ass woman. Probably mentally ill or probably just annoying. Who knows. Anyway, she gets near me and says, “Ugly lady, hey! Ugly lady, what up! What’s up my ugly lady!!!”

I feel a way. One, because today I actually tried to be cute today and two, why did I have to catch the ugly lady not once, not twice, but three times? I just felt that was unnecessary and unwarranted but you know I lived to write this post. I’m gonna be okay. And I’m not ugly. Dammit. 

Never ever a dull moment riding the train.